I used to tell myself I didn’t care

Angela van SonFeelings19 Comments

I’ve been working with procrastination for a few years now, but I keep making new discoveries. About procrastination, but also about me. I just had a Eureka moment. I’ve been fooling myself for a long time.

Nice and dusty?

I used to tell myself I don’t mind a dusty house. I was convinced it was true, until we hired a cleaner. I enjoyed my clean house enormously, time and time again. I noticed I didn’t like it at all when our cleaner missed a week. My house got DIRTY! So much for my illusion that I didn’t care.

Mind over matter?

I used to tell myself that content matters a lot more to me than looks. As long as my website looked good enough, I was satisfied. That lasted until Lisa Cole from Naked Website started designing for me. I was stunned at the results. They even made me feel more professional, though my content hadn’t changed.

What was really going on…

Just now, when I saw the banner for my next free e-course, I realised: I’ve always cared. I just didn’t want to do the job. By telling myself I didn’t care, I didn’t need to deal with my task aversivesness. Or face my feeling of helplessness when it comes to images and deciding how things should look.

I’m gonna pay attention next time I tell somebody I don’t care. It may actually be something that I need to add to my to do list!

Where are you telling yourself that you don’t care? Could you be lying to yourself too?

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19 Comments on “I used to tell myself I didn’t care”

  1. I agree with you. I have someone who has been cleaning my house during these busy months of my business. I supposably haven’t cared about my dirty house, but finding out I do care & don’t like it when she misses. Also, I think I need some work on my web site!! It hasn’t been updated in a while!! Thanks for the tips!

  2. I do this all the time, but more in the context of “it’s not that big of a deal”. As if my brushing it off makes it easier the next time I am reminded of not having done it. I agree, when my house is super clean I absolutely love it and when I get things done that I’ve been putting off it’s such a sense of accomplishment!

    1. Angela van Son

      Good call Lauren: “As if my brushing it off makes it easier the next time I am reminded of not having done it.”

      I think I have some of those hidden somewhere as well…

  3. Pingback: "Lisa Cole from Naked Website started designing for me. I was stunned at the results." - www.nakedwebsite.co.uk

  4. I had a similar Eureka moment – I’ve been hanging on to things for years – just couldn’t let go. It’s just stuff. I’ve decided 2014 will be my year to let go. I started early in my closet and I feel like I have so much room in there I can set up a table and chair LOL. Someday I hope to get in a cleaner but right now I think I gotta let go of ‘stuff’ so the cleaner has room to clean hee hee

    1. Angela van Son

      Decluttering is SO liberating Joanne! That’s another one of my fake “I don’t cares”.

      I’m so happy to have the support of a professional organiser and a very effective free declutter course to make a lasting change. Since I started my business and had a child, clutter has increasingly become something I can’t ignore for too long. I’ve noticed that clutter in my room creates clutter in my head.

  5. What an interesting post, and so true!! I need to think about this every time I say I don’t care about something, because you are right, it probably needs to go on my To Do List!

    1. Angela van Son

      Have you found out how to tell the difference? For me the insight is quite new, so I haven’t had a chance yet to check what my patterns are with it. My guess is that when I hear myself thinking or saying “I don’t care” a lot, I’m fooling myself.

  6. I used to tell myself that I didn’t care about my weight. I really like the compliments that I’m getting from all that I’ve lost.

    1. Angela van Son

      That’s an important one Cassi! I think many people do this, and don’t recognise it. Thanks for sharing. You’re making me think how well I’m doing on that subject. I’ve been gaining some weight and I’m not liking it.

  7. Angela – You Rock!

    I love your insight and I really dig your short, to the point, yet Point On posts!

    I mirror others who’ve posted the degrees which I experience procrastination, and as much as I don’t suffer from it as much as I had in the past, I can relate to the “I don’t care” concept.

    Fact of the matter is – there are some things that I choose to not care about as they don’t deserve my time. As it is, the busier I get, and the more time is valuable to me, the ‘little things’ that seem to chisel away at my precious time simply go into the “I don’t care” waste basket.

    I appreciate your personal perspective the things you shared – especially the dusting thing, LOL. Let’s just say, dust and me have a long, tempestuous love affair – the few flat surfaces in my life that accumulate dust simply tease me every time I walk past them, “Go ahead, look at me – marvel how beautiful I am – see how I change with each passing day, week, month your desire to touch me”

    Hah! Dust? We appreciate each others special place in our lives; one without the other leaves us empty and feeling ‘not wanted.’

    1. Angela van Son

      I cherish you comment Brian. It’s in depth, personal and funny at the same time. So happy to have met you online. I’m looking forward to more mutual reading and commenting.

  8. Well, your e-course has just started today and it’s making me think so much Angela! I have to say my brain is a bit tired right now.. You mention a de-cluttering course higher up this thread. Do you have a link? It could be a useful thing to follow up later. Thanks!

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